Division of Pensions

Divorce Mediation Long Island


Win-Win Divorce Solutions is one of the only Long Island divorce mediation firms that offers an impartial co-mediation experience with mediators who have training in both law and social work.

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Raynham Hall is another Long Island property—this one located in Oyster Bay—where paranormal activity has been witnessed. This mansion once belonged to Robert Townsend, a spy whose network supplied information to George Washington during the American Revolution. Yaphank’s Woods and the Potter’s Field Cemetery, a burial site for over 150 years, is another place where hauntings have been reported. Visitors to Katie’s Bar in Smithtown have supposedly seen poltergeist activity, and the owner believes it could be the spirits of those who suffered a fire in 1909, when the building was a hotel. In Farmingdale, a being known as the “Long Island Devil” has been seen haunting old Quaker cemeteries. This entity is reportedly over six feet tall and wears a cape. Some say it is the guardian spirit of a young girl cursed to haunt the cemeteries forever. One of the most unusual Long Island paranormal sites is the Hermitage of the Red Owl. Adding to this weird tale is the fact that where the Hermitage once stood is now a Checkers in Brentwood. Legend has it that Charles Codman saw a red owl one night while closing a window, and the bird told him that it was the spirit of Native American chief killed by an adversary, and that his bones lay in a nearby gulley. The owl requested that Charles find the remains and give them a proper burial, and Charles complied. The owl appeared days later to bless him, and according to the stories, there is a dip in the Checkers parking lot where the ravine once was.

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What is Divorce Mediation?

What is Divorce Mediation?

In Long Island divorce mediation, you and your spouse hire a neutral third party, called a divorce mediator, to meet with you in an effort to discuss and resolve the issues in your divorce.

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Benefit of Mediation vs. Litigation

Benefit of Mediation vs. Litigation

Most divorces are long, extensive & expensive. Divorce mediation Long Island by contrast, can reach a compromise in 6 – 8 sessions & for a fraction of a typical divorce.

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Why Choose Us to Mediate?

Why Choose Us to Mediate?

Win-Win Divorce Solutions is one of the only Long Island divorce mediation firms that offers an impartial co-mediation experience with mediators who have training in both law and social work.

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For your safety, our divorce mediation sessions are also able to be provided on https://zoom.us.  Zoom is an online digital video meeting, chat & virtual conference room software. It is very easy to use & is very much like meeting in person. You connect to the meetings from the comfort & safety of your own home or office.

Division of Pensions

Division of Pensions Through Divorce Mediation

Legally, pensions, 401(k), and other retirement assets that accrued during the marriage are considered marital assets–meaning they are the property of both spouses and can be divided in the event of a divorce.

What Is a Defined Benefit Plan?

A defined benefit plan is an employer-based program that pays employees benefits based on length of employment and salary history. The employer is responsible for the planning and investment risk, and payouts are “defined”–not based on investment returns. In the case of poor investing, the employer is required to make up the difference, so the value remains constant, and the payee always knows exactly what they will receive.

Divorce Mediation Argument
Divorce Mediation

How Are Retirement Benefits Distributed?

As marital assets, retirement monies are eligible for division in a divorce settlement. More than likely, these assets will somehow be divided between you and your ex spouse. You have two alternatives: you can fight your spouse in court and let a judge make the final decision, though chances are, your spouse will receive a portion of the pension.

Divorcing couples have other options when dividing marital property, and that includes pensions and retirement plans. Rather than leaving the distribution of the pension to a court order or domestic relations order, they can divide this property themselves through divorce mediation. Mediation allows spouses to assess their situation and resources, communicate with each other, and, with the help of a mediator, decide who gets which portion of which assets–and the only criteria is that both spouses agree.

This method of pension distribution has many advantages over traditional divorce litigation:


Typically, any pension money that is accrued during the marriage is joint property. If you have had your pension for twenty years and were married to your spouse for ten of those years, your spouse is entitled to a portion of the pension money that accrued over the ten years you were together. The most typical court decisions award these pensions moneys fifty-fifty: half to you, half to your spouse. It’s unusual that a much different ruling is handed down with the divorce decree.

You can, of course, hire a divorce attorney to protect your pension/get you a greater share of the retirement asset, but you and your spouse are still highly likely to end up splitting the pension in half, or very close to it. You also have the option to challenge the ruling through appeal, and while it is unlikely, it’s not impossible for an appeals court to overrule the family court’s decision.

Or you can keep decisions about division of property in your hands from the beginning with divorce mediation. One major benefit of mediation is that it keeps you in control, and you are not locked into the fifty-fifty formula. In fact, you and your spouse can be as creative as you like as long as you can reach an agreement. Your spouse might want 10 percent of your pension and benefit plans in exchange for another asset, like a vehicle, boat, vacation home, or similar. Maybe one spouse will let the other keep the entire pension in lieu of paying child support. People have come up with very unorthodox ways of dividing the marital property, and anything goes as long as you and your spouse agree.


When you take your divorce through litigation or let the outcome be decided by domestic relations orders, details of your pension plan, property interest, retirement benefits, and even the details of the marriage itself might be discussed in open court. A court decision or qualified domestic relations order can become a matter of public record, something both parties would be much better off avoiding. Your spouse’s attorney, whose job it is to secure the best deal for their client, will have license to demand information about your pension plan, 401(k), bank account, and other retirement matters.

Your attorney can do the same with your spouse’s financial records.

With divorce mediation, no one will have access to your account information, benefits information, pension, retirement, or the like without your permission. No one will know the details of your plan for the division of pension and retirement resources except you, your spouse, and the mediator who guides you through the process. Mediators are neutral, impartial, and confidential. They won’t take sides or share any part of your situation with other people.


Settling pension disputes through divorce mediation rather than through an attorney and litigation can be a much better value. Finalizing a divorce with a mediator can cost over 50 percent less than through litigation, and determining how to split up the pension and other benefits is no different. Divorce lawyers can charge hundreds of dollars per hour, and the longer you spend deciding who gets which portion of the pension, the more you spend. And if you’re not happy with any part of the divorce decree, you will spend even more on appeals.

With attorney fees, loss of income, child support, spousal support, possibly relocating or buying a new home, and splitting up the pension and benefit money you’ve accumulated, divorce can be brutally expensive. Part of what makes mediation advantageous is that both of you can benefit from the much lower cost.


Divorce can be a lengthy endeavor, and court battles over who gets what portions of pensions or other benefit money can add to the process as attorneys fight for a bigger share for their client. Dividing everything accumulated during a marriage can take months or sometimes even years, and during that time, you’re both stuck in limbo, unable to get on with your life.

Divorce with a mediator can be much faster. If you and your spouse are on the same page and ready compromise, you might even work out the pension portion of your distribution plan in one or two mediation session–just a few hours.

Getting past the pension work and establishing a payment schedule with your spouse, if needed, will move you closer to the conclusion of your divorce and the life waiting for you on the other side.

Divorce Mediation Resolution Handshake

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Divorce litigation is ugly; there’s no way around it. When addressing pensions people worked decades to earn, all while juggling custody arguments, disputes over the family home, alimony, and so much else, it’s not surprising emotions can run high.

Litigation in a courtroom is not conducive to tranquility. If you are the employee who obtained the pension, your lawyer will fight for you to keep as much as possible. On the other hand, your ex’s lawyer will fight for the largest share for them. Each party will look for ammunition to use against the other, and any information acquired will be used to attack you or your spouse’s pension rights.

The lawyers are only doing the jobs they’re being paid to do, but fighting tooth and nail for pensions every day of your life can take a toll on your happiness and sense of security. And no matter your standing with your ex, viscous court battles seldom benefit anyone.

But with litigation, there’s no option to compromise. There’s also little opportunity to divide benefits outside the formula dictated by the law–and the law generally follows the fifty-fifty model. This is another area where mediation is less stressful–you simply have many more options for finding a solution that will work for everyone.

Unlike court, mediators can schedule sessions around other important life events like work and school. With training in both law and social work, mediators are uniquely qualified to help you and your partner work past the pain and resentment and formulate a mutually beneficial plan for dividing resources. The attorney client relationship you build with us is different in that we value both of your wants and needs. Part of the beauty of mediation is that no one is against anyone else, and everyone works together toward a timely and amicable resolution.

Call or email us today to set up a free consultation and learn how working with a mediator can facilitate a smooth, quick, cost-effective, and affable resolution to property disputes.


By opting to work with a divorce mediator, you not only avoid the hassle of a drawn out divorce, you also save significantly. With Win-Win Divorce Solutions, our clients pay only a fraction of the cost of a traditional, litigated divorce in the Family Court System. There are no advanced fees or retainers. As a more affordable, convenient, and simplified alternative, our service is one of the most ideal solutions available.

Additionally, Win-Win Divorce Solutions is one of the only firms in NYC that offers an impartial co-mediation experience with mediators who have training in both law and social work. Our objective is to help you get through every step of this complex and emotionally challenging process with ease. We want you to have a successful outcome, and we are truly committed to ensuring your experience with us is nothing short of outstanding.

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Visit one of our two convenient Long Island Divorce Mediation locations:

Let us put our divorce mediation expertise to work for you in
Hauppauge Long Island:

Divorce Mediation Long Island Hauppauge Office Location:

Win-Win Divorce Solutions, LLC – Long Island Divorce Mediation
150 Motor Parkway
Center Suite 401-501
Hauppauge, NY 11788

Let us put our divorce mediation expertise to work for you in
Lake Success Long Island:

Divorce Mediation Long Island Lake Success Office Location:

Win-Win Divorce Solutions, LLC – Long Island Divorce Mediators
1979 Marcus Ave.
Suite 210
Lake Success, NY 11042