Divorce is mentally exhausting not only for the divorcing couples but also for the children involved in it. From anger to depression, a child may experience a wide variety of emotions after their parents go through a divorce.
Unable to handle such issues will not only leave them confused but they may also have difficulty in trusting and understanding new relationships.
Therefore, it is important to ensure that your child receives the right support and comfort after the divorce. We’ve compiled some tips that may help your child during this tough time.
Stages of Divorce for Children
Before we go through the tips, it is important to understand that children go through different stages of divorce.
Denial and Isolation
The first stage of a child’s response to divorce is usually denial and isolation. Here, the child may be unable to accept that their parents are getting divorced. This stage is often accompanied by anger, sadness, confusion, and disbelief.
Anger
As mentioned, a child going through the divorce process may experience anger. This may arise from feeling powerless in controlling what is happening around them. Therefore, it is important to be understanding and supportive during this stage.
Bargaining
Bargaining is when the child attempts to make a deal with their parents in order for them not to get divorced. They may attempt to act out in order to bring the parents together. It is important to ensure that the child understands that it is not their fault and that divorce is not something they can control.
Depression
Moving forward, the child may fall into a state of depression as they come to terms with the divorce. This may involve feeling guilty or ashamed of the situation.
Acceptance
Finally, the acceptance stage is when the child begins to accept that their parents are getting divorced. It may take some time for them to reach this stage but it is important to be there every step of the way to provide support and comfort.
7 Ways to Help Your Child Cope With Divorce
1. Staying Involved in Your Child’s Life
Arguably the most important thing you can do as a parent is to stay involved in your child’s life. Make sure to take the time to talk about their feelings and listen to their concerns. The last thing you want is for them to feel unimproved or neglected during this difficult time.
2. Encourage Open Communication
Being away from one of the parents can be hard for a child. Therefore, it is important to encourage open communication between them and their parents. This will help them to stay connected and will also let the parents know what their child is going through. Set up regular calls, video chats, or even visits to help keep the connection alive.
3. Do Not Talk Bad About the Other Parent
Personal conflicts between the parents should not be discussed in front of the child. The last thing you want to do is put them in a difficult situation by forcing them to choose between their parents. It is important to talk to them in a respectful manner and keep the conversations centered around their feelings.
4. Help Your Child Express Their Feelings
Let your child know that it is okay and normal to express the anger or sadness they may be feeling. Encourage them to talk about the divorce by giving them a safe space to express themselves and discuss their thoughts. Acknowledge any feelings they may have and be there to provide comfort.
5. Work Hard to Co-Parent
A child’s mind doesn’t work the same way as an adult’s. They may not understand why their parents don’t get along and why they have to switch between two households. In some cases, they will blame themselves for the divorce. Avoid having arguments and any discussions about the other parent in front of your child. Instead, focus on working together to co-parent and provide a stable home life for your child.
6. Keep Your Routines
This can be anything from daily bedtime routines to meals. Keeping the same routine will help your child adjust to the changes of divorce easier. It also provides a sense of security at a time when their life may feel chaotic. This will also give them peace of mind knowing that some things won’t change and there is still a sense of normalcy in their life.
7. Consider Counseling
There is unending help and counseling for children going through a divorce. Talking to a professional who can listen and provide guidance is very beneficial. Counseling will not only give your child a safe place to open up but it will also allow them to find ways to cope with the situation.
At What Age is a Child Most Affected by Divorce?
Elementary school-aged children are seen to be the most affected by divorce because they are more aware of what is happening around them and their cognitive development allows them to comprehend the situation. They are old enough to remember the good times with both parents but young enough to be brought into a new routine or environment.
How Long Does it Take for Your Child to Adjust to Divorce?
In most cases, both parents and children can adjust to the divorce process within two years. Although it may take longer for some, having patience and understanding will make this process much easier for everyone. Make sure to follow the tips above for the best outcome.
Final Thoughts
Divorce is a difficult process for all involved. It is important to remember that children can adjust and will heal over time if given the proper support. Be sure to check in with your child and offer them a listening ear whenever possible.
Above all else, provide them with a stable environment and remind them that the divorce is not their fault. Show your child love and understanding during this tough time, as it will go a long way in helping them cope.
If you are in Hauppage, Long Island, and other nearby areas, and in need of divorce mediation to help you resolve and settle all outstanding matters, contact us at Win-Win Divorce Solutions today.
