The divorce mediation process is where a family law attorney or a divorce lawyer meets with the divorcing couple to try to resolve their differences and avoid going to court. Divorce mediation work best when both parties are open to resolving their differences, and when they are both willing to compromise.
If one party is not willing to budge on their position or not willing to communicate openly, then divorce mediation is not recommended.
To give you a more idea of when a divorce mediator would not be recommended, here are some examples:
If Domestic Violence Is Present in Your Relationship
Before your initial mediation session for a marital settlement agreement, understand when and if mediation is right for your divorce. In cases of domestic violence, it is not recommended that the victim and perpetrator meditate.
If you suffer from domestic violence or believe that your spouse does, it is virtually impossible to have an effective mediation session. Additionally, if you are the victim of domestic violence, you might not be able to adequately advocate for yourself during mediation.
You might be afraid to speak up or might not be able to think clearly because you are focused on your safety and afraid of the other spouse. In these cases, it is best to have an attorney represent you in mediation or to forgo mediation altogether.
You still can settle child support payments and other matters related to your divorce even if you don’t participate in mediation, through the use of the collaborative law process or other negotiation methods before or after receiving the divorce decree.
If One Party is Dishonest
Divorce mediation helps when both parties want to be honest about their assets and debts. During mediation, both parties will need to provide full financial disclosure to agree about property division, alimony, and child support. But if one party is unwilling to be open about their finances, then mediation will not work.
In such cases, it can be difficult to negotiate a fair settlement even with the help of a divorce attorney, let alone during mediation. If one spouse is not being truthful about their assets and debts, it creates an uneven playing field that can make it difficult to resolve your differences.
If One Party is Controlling and Dominating

Another sign that mediation is not right for your divorce is if one party is very controlling and dominating. If one spouse is constantly interrupting the mediator or their spouse, it can make it difficult to have a productive conversation. This type of behavior often indicates that one spouse is not interested in mediation and is only using it as a way to control the other spouse.
Separation agreement plays a big role in child custody, property division, and other divorce-related matters. If one parent is acting out of control, it can make it difficult to come to an agreement that is in the best interest of the child.
Unwillingness to Cooperate or Participate in Good Faith
A fair and just divorce settlement cannot be reached if one party is not willing to cooperate or participate in good faith. Mediation will only work if both parties are invested in the process and are willing to come to an agreement. If one spouse is uncooperative or unwilling to budge on their position, then mediation is likely to fail.
It takes both parents to reach an agreement about child custody, visitation, and other important matters related to divorce. If one parent is not willing to participate in mediation, they might be less likely to cooperate with the other parent after the divorce process. This can make it difficult to co-parent and can have a negative impact on the children.
You Don’t Want to Settle in Mediation

You always have the right to settle your case outside of mediation. If you and your spouse are not able to come to an agreement during mediation, you can still try to negotiate a settlement on your own or with the help of your attorneys. If you are not able to settle your case, you can always go to trial.
The Bottom Line
If you are unsure as to whether or not mediation is right for you, it is important to speak with an experienced divorce attorney. An attorney can help you assess your case and can give you guidance on whether or not mediation is likely to be successful.
If you want to pursue mediation, things like how long mediation take can be crucial to understand so you can go into the process with realistic expectations.
Also, knowing how to prepare for divorce mediation can be important to have a successful experience. An experienced attorney can help you understand what to expect and can help you prepare for the process.
If you are in New York, our divorce medication solutions might be for you. Contact us today and learn how Win-Win Divorce Solutions can help you.